I have two daughters to raise. May the good Lord help me through this.

Here is the thing that is currently bugging the heck out of me while raising these two girls:

They both can’t wait to be “The Bride” at their weddings. (BARF!)

I blame myself for this. I actually walked in front of them as “The Bride” last year to marry their dad. They re-enact my own wedding every time we visit the park where I myself was once a bride. They play dress up, and fight over the white dress because they both want to be “The Bride.” They love any story involving a girl marrying a prince. They look at our wedding pictures at least once a week and coo, “Oh Mommy! You were beautiful in your dress!” They play wedding with their Barbies. (Ken really makes out in this wedding business. He has married Barbie and all her friends at least three times each. What a creepy bastard.) The words, “There is the bride! Doesn’t she look so beautiful?” have come out of my own mouth at every wedding we have ever attended. I am the one who is allowing, perhaps even encouraging, their perceptions of womanhood become skewed.

I admit there is something alluring about being “The Bride” to these little princess minds. Your prince charming (Or the man you end up settling for, depending how you look at it.) gets down on one knee in the middle of a crowded room and presents you with a diamond ring. You say yes, and people you don’t even know cheer and congratulate your life-long future happiness. Friends and family toast you and the groom at every engagement party, bridal shower, bachelor party, bachelorette party and rehearsal dinner from proposal to wedding. The entire guest list has to hear (multiple times) your love story of “how we found each other online” or “how we met in a bar in college.” You get to wear a dreamy dress while everybody looks at you with tears in their eyes and says, “Doesn’t she look soooo beautiful?”

You get to be the center of attention for an entire day. People watch you talk, eat, dance and drink like you are a celebrity. Not to mention the paparazzi-like photographers you paid thousands of dollars to follow you around and make you look damn near flawless in every picture. Once these pictures are in your hands, you will flood social media with them. Because everybody who wasn’t invited still needs to see how good you looked and how “in love” you are. Relatives gather from across the country for this event in your life, and probably won’t gather like that again until your funeral. IT IS THE HAPPIEST DAMN DAY OF YOUR LIFE. Every person you encounter will repeat it to you so many times it practically becomes your mantra.

Why are weddings so celebrated? Aren’t there other things in a girl’s life that are SO MUCH MORE worthy of celebration? Why are we so focused on finding a man and marrying him? And God forbid it if we dare dream otherwise!

I don’t want to crush my daughters’ childhood dreams, so I let the wedding play happen while I cringe inside. I don’t want to screw up their innocent views on the world. Every fairy tale they have ever heard ends with “they lived happily ever after.” At the end of the story, all princesses marry their prince. Why would the ending be any different for them?

Sadly, I know plenty of beautiful, talented, accomplished women who are living their lives thinking less of themselves, just because they are approaching their thirties without a serious boyfriend. Why does so much of our self-worth end up being attached to finding a guy to marry? Why can’t we still live happily ever after, while filing single on our tax return?

I have girlfriends who have put themselves through law school, but receive constant pressure from people to, “Just go out and find a nice guy so you can settle down.” Does nobody realize the sacrifices and hard work that go in to graduating with a law degree?! Not to mention the ladders they now will have to climb to make a name for themselves in that crazy, competitive world of law careers?! Shouldn’t ALL THAT be celebrated so much more than snagging a guy off Tinder and getting him to propose?!

I have friends in happy, committed relationships who have chosen (for their own, personal reasons!) not to marry or have kids. Yet it never fails, people still can’t help but comment, “Someday she will decide to get serious.” Apparently, their relationship can’t be taken seriously until they get on board with traditional society. We can’t all just appreciate a healthy, supportive and loving relationship unless it comes with a marriage certificate and baby carriage.

I want to stop teaching my little girls to aspire to marriage. I want to encourage my girls to become their own person, make their own educated choices and live their life how they choose. I will not allow society’s rules to cloud their own vision of what their life should be. If they are confident enough in themselves to walk off the beaten path, then I have succeeded. I have helped them to grow into the brave individuals who went out into the world and achieved their own dreams outside of what other people thought would be best for them.

So here is a crazy idea: Let’s look at marriage as a choice, rather than a necessity. Women can live happily ever after, with or without marriage vows. They can hold down jobs, buy houses and cars, and even raise children with or without a partner by their side. And maybe…Just maybe…they can be just as celebrated in these successes.

Let’s make the happiest days of our daughters’ lives the days they graduate high school, college and graduate school. Let’s celebrate them as they dance and sing on Broadway, create thought-provoking art and sell their first painting. Let’s celebrate the days they win the state tournament, get offered a scholarship and earn a starting spot on their sport’s team. Let’s celebrate the days they land their dream job, receive an awesome promotion and turn the key in the door of their first house. Let’s celebrate the day they become a parent, regardless of how that child was brought into their lives. Let’s celebrate when they find a person to love and walk through life with. If they decide to get married to that person along the way, then of course, we can celebrate that too.

But I absolutely refuse to discredit the rest of their life achievements based on their relationship status.

If we do this for our daughters, maybe they can show us how to find the real happily ever after.