10 Things

Eleven Things Only Type A People (And Those That Love Them) Understand

~ Kaitlyn @ Doing Dishes Making Wishes ~ 1 Comment

During a recent, heated conversation with my husband, I got slightly wound-up. It is totally standard for him to be cool as a cucumber while I flip out. I always tell myself I am going to stay calm, but it never really happens. He turned around, with an amused smile on his face and goes, “So, you know how hard it is to love you sometimes, right? Kait, just calm down.”

Calm down!? CALM DOWN?! If there is one phrase that will instantly make it impossible to “calm down”, that is probably it! However, I started laughing right along with him. I actually had to sit down on the floor with tears in my eyes from uncontrollable laughing. Because I know he loves me no matter what, plus, I am super-annoying and high-strung. And he is totally right. (Hey, sometimes you just need to laugh at yourself to get a new perspective.)

Competitive people can’t help it. I annoy myself right along with everyone else, if we are being honest. I want to just turn off the constant list of potential failures running through my head. I wish I could comfortably go to bed and fall asleep after coming in second place, but instead I will lay awake and analyze every move I made that landed me behind somebody else. I check off those boxes of various failures, agonizing over each one, vowing to never allow that to happen again.  I will fall asleep eventually, promising myself to be the best next time. Then I wake up the next day and begin holding myself to that promise. It is exhausting.

Welcome to my type A life. #thestruggleisreal

I have matured to realize that some people just hate my confrontational nature. I think my personality is misunderstood. I am not trying to knock anybody else down, I am just trying to muscle my own way up. I get that this rubs people the wrong way, but I’m not changing anytime soon. I can’t sit back and let things play out. I can’t let go of the reins. It is too difficult for me to watch a train wreck unfold before my eyes, knowing that a little bit of effort on my part might have changed the outcome. I so badly want to be a super-cool, laid-back, type B who doesn’t give a crap – but it’s never going to happen. I am too much of a control freak, and I am waaayyy too competitive.

So without further ado, let’s get to the bottom of why us type As are just so hard to love:

 

Eleven Things Only Type A People

(And Those that Love Them) Understand

1. You have to win. At everything. EVERYTHING.

GPS time of arrival? Nope. That’s time to beat.

Fitbit’s Daily Showdown? A.k.a. I run on the treadmill until I am in first place, or die trying.

Fantasy football? If Freeman isn’t cleared on that concussion for another week, I will personally take down the entire Atlanta Falcons organization.

Mini golf? I NEED to get a hole-in-one, just so I can tell you to suck it.

Bake sale? My brownies better disappear like lightning. Please, God, let people buy all my brownies!

Foot race? Don’t make me laugh. Enjoy the taste of dust.

I could go on, but I am sure you get the point. Daily life is a contest, and losing is failure.

2. You cannot rest until your daily to-do list is checked off.

Husband: Why don’t you stop folding laundry and relax?

Me: Because I need to finish it.

Husband: Why can’t you finish it tomorrow?

Me: Because it is on TODAY’S to-do list, idiot.

Husband: Now that you are done folding laundry, why don’t you stop pacing the room and watch this show with me?

Me: I only need 628 more steps to overtake Tiffany R. in the Workweek Hustle! I am too close to victory to sit! (See item 1.)

Husband: You need help.

3. Throwing parties consumes your life.

My youngest is turning 4 in July = CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

I will not rest until our backyard is transformed into an ice palace, the cake is a perfect depiction of Olaf, all the guests have become real-life replicas of Elsa and childhood dreams have come true.

4. Same goes for any holiday, really.

Christmas spirit, Pinterest valentines, Easter magic, leprechaun mischief, Halloween overkill…..When it’s holiday game time, you GO BIG OR GO HOME!

5. Home renovations = convincing yourself your home will someday be featured on HGTV.

My poor husband actually thought our bathroom reno was finished. I whipped my head around at this statement in disbelief! (Is he even looking at this unfinished room?! The walls are bare!) Then I informed him he would be installing crown molding and assisting me while I agonized over where to hang which pieces of wall decor….for 3 straight days….until I snap:

Me: Get the kids ready, we have to go back to HomeGoods IMMEDIATELY. NOBODY can enter this house until this room clicks, because it simply cannot be seen like this!

Husband: You still need help.

6. You count your calories, and hate yourself for it.

Well crap. That glass of wine just put me over my caloric budget today. Looks like I am now faced with the choice of burning extra calories at 9:30 pm, or going to bed with a belly full of wine and extra helpings of self-loathing. Decisions, decisions….

7. A trip the gym is actually your own personal Olympics.

When your body combat instructor tells you to bring it up to level 3, you actually do it. Even though you think one of your arms fell off 10 minutes ago. Then you start walking for your treadmill cool down, but somebody hops on the treadmill next to you and starts running. Naturally, now you have to crank it back up and run another mile too. You have no other choice! You can’t look weak in front of your fellow fitness peers! That’s a gold medal, ladies and gents! Only the strong win the gold! (Again, see item 1.)

8. When people ask you to sign up for a “run/walk 5k”, you simply cannot.

Ummm….So it’s a race? But you don’t try to beat your best time? You let people pass you? Some people just walk?…..I’m confused. (Again, see item 1.)

9. Casual debates become a matter of life and death.

If you come at me trying to change my mind on an issue, I will unleash a rapid-fire rebuttal that probably contains statistical data and fact citations. If I care enough to research said issue in the first place, I also care enough to make sure I can support my stance when it is questioned. Just remember not to take it personally. It isn’t about other people being wrong, but entirely about me being right. (Again, see item 1.)

10. If company is coming over, your home must be perfection.

Click the video below to watch how I freak out every single time we host company.

“There cannot be any sign of LIVING in this house!”

So funny. So accurate. Borderline sad.

11. Your kids are on a schedule, and you LOVE it.

Every time someone comments how annoying your strict household schedule is, you laugh in their face as your kids go right to sleep at their assigned bedtime annnnd don’t wake up until the next morning. Yup. I just threw a *tiny* bit of shade. Couldn’t help it. Schedules are where it’s at!

(12. You are slightly annoyed that this is a list of eleven, instead of a nice, round number like ten. Apologies.)

 

So there you have it! My whole long list of competitive crazy. I get that I drive you nuts. I might even insult you on occasion. (It’s called tough love, my dears.) All of us control freaks know you would like us to calm the heck down, but we probably won’t be relaxing anytime soon!

Just know that if you are lucky enough to love one of us type A’s, we are going to pave the way for you (through some micromanagement) and cheer for you (as long as you’re doing it the way we instructed you) just as much as we annoy you! It’s not nagging, it’s actually encouragement – just with swear words and deadlines. 😉

Ten Things Only Moms Who Used To Be Super Fans Can Understand

~ Kaitlyn @ Doing Dishes Making Wishes ~ 1 Comment

It’s Sunday. Game day.

Open your eyes and take a deep breath of that chilly breeze blowing through your window. Your friends are picking you up in an hour to go tailgate. Get up and start to get ready! Have a beer while you shower. Go ahead. Nobody’s stopping you, and that shower beer is the perfect way to start Sunday Funday. It’s so cold and refreshing, competing with the warm steam of the shower. Ahhh. Living the dream. Just loving life and enjoying a shower beer.

Do your hair so that it still looks good under a knitted hat. Select an outfit that makes you look cute, clearly distinguishes you as a hot Chicago Bears fan and keeps you warm enough at the same time. Perfection. Now fill up a big travel mug with coffee and Bailey’s, throw ice on the orange and blue jello shots in the cooler and jump in the truck when your friends pull up.

Are you ready for some football?!?!

HELL YES. SUNDAY FUNDAY. BEAR DOWN, CHICAGO!!!

 

Now fast forward 5 years……

I wake up to little people who need a lot all at once. I chug hot, black coffee even thought it is burning my tongue. I remember the coffee-and-Bailey’s-Sundays fondly for a fleeting moment, but I don’t even have any hard liquor in the house. I sigh and google the Bear’s schedule between pouring glasses of milk, because I actually don’t even know when and who they play this week. (It’s not that I don’t care! I had to re-prioritize everything when I became a mommy. I literally have no time to worry about sports anymore.) Turns out they don’t play until Monday night. Oh well. Come noon, my husband will sit in front of the TV and multiple computer screens, so wrapped up in a combination of his fantasy team and work that the house could burn down around him and he wouldn’t notice. I take the kids to the zoo, because the house feels like a zoo anyway.

Bye Sunday Funday….Probably forever.

Tears. Grief. Mourning.

I am a mommy who was once a fan. A true fan. I loved tailgating outside Soldier field. I loved high-fiving other super fans in the stands after every touch down. I loved watching the entire game, uninterrupted, with everyone at the local sports bar. I loved knowing the players stats, who got traded and who was injured. I just loved to breathe that crisp fall air because it meant football, food, beer and fun. Daaaa Bears!

Were you a mom who was once a fan too?

I wholeheartedly understand this dilemma. You are not alone.

dabears

Ten Things Only Moms Who Used To Be Super Fans Can Understand:

1. Attending the game is only fun until you are exhausted.

Let’s be real – I can’t keep up with my cool, hip, childless friends. After two beers during the tailgate, I feel nice and toasty. After two more beers in the stadium, I need to lay down. I have to pace myself. Stay hydrated. I also can’t forget to swing by the ATM to pay the babysitter later, because I somehow already spent all my cash. Was it always 10 bucks a beer at Soldier Field? No wonder I was broke in my twenties. I supposed I could always play it smart and stay sober, but that also equals being the caretaker and designated driver for all those Sunday Funday clowns I came here with. No thanks. I’ll take my chances with beer.

2. I can just watch the game with a few friends at a sports bar!

Brilliant plan, imbecile. See #1.

3. Staying home to watch the game doesn’t really work either.

I try to catch a play or two in-between prepping dinner, folding laundry and granting fruit snack requests every 15 minutes. I might also attempt to enjoy a hard cider before somebody knocks it over and I have to clean the carpet.

4. Let’s bring the kids with to the game! It will be fun!

Oh sure! Really fun! Because dropping a couple hundred bucks to haul around a backpack full of snacks and sippy cups, celebrate touchdowns by holding a toddler over the potty, play musical stadium chairs and apologize repeatedly to everyone around you sounds like an epic time. Said no one. Ever.

5. Family-friendly doesn’t apply to Buffalo Wild Wings on football Sundays.

Because now you have a baby. In a bar.

6. Your husband has magical powers.

The outside world doesn’t exist to him from 11:59 AM Sunday until 12:01 AM Monday. He can tune out the entire household. He will be mentally gone for 12 full hours, and will sometimes resurface from football land to find beer and food. Don’t even try to wake him from this Cinderella spell. It is only more energy wasted on your part. It is him and his fantasy teams. Why he was granted this freedom and you were not is an eternal mystery, but at least his roster is pretty stacked! Let’s hope he wins some big cash this season!

7. Every other commitment you have seems to fall on Sunday afternoon at kickoff.

You are an adult now. You have adult things to attend, and you can’t flake out like you did when you were 22 years old. Wedding showers, baby showers, birthday parties, family reunions, etc. – Be there or be square! Better hope your phone has decent service so you can get score updates, provided you have a minute to check it without looking rude as hell.

8. Don’t throw a Sunday Funday party. Just don’t.

At least once during football season, we all get the brilliant idea that throwing a party for the Bears game is going to be fun. It’s not. Now instead of watching the game you are cooking, cleaning and helping to take care of your friends’ kids. You suddenly remember why you swore not to do this again last year, and admit that next year it will probably sound like a good idea again. Oh well. At least I got to try out a new buffalo chicken recipe from Pinterest! Go Bears!

9. You don’t even know who half the team is anymore.

I haven’t watched the NFL draft for three years running. I vaguely remember Pat Tomasulo recapping what was going on with the Bear’s roster on the news while I made breakfast one day. None of the details remained in my brain. I save face by making fun of Jay Cutler. Because at least everybody can agree on hating Cutler.

10. You still have the cutest Bears apparel, but it is just collecting dust in the back of your closet.

Someday I will bust that tight little women’s jersey back out and Instagram the hell out of a game day selfie. Someday. After my boob job and tummy tuck.

 

See? I told you that you weren’t alone, my fellow fan who became a Mommy! I am down in the trenches with you, fighting the good fight from one football Sunday to the next.

It is going to turn out OK for us, I promise.

In a few years, the kids will be old enough to sit through a game. We can enjoy our football Sundays as a family. We can get out of the house to watch football games at Buffalo Wing Wings without stares full of judgement. We can take the kids to Bears games without backpacks full of baby crap. We can take them tailgating, teach them how to play bags like pros and eat Chicago style hot dogs with our tailgate neighbors. We can cheers water bottles and even eat blue and orange jello together. (This time without the vodka.) It will get better, and until it does, we can hold on to the carefree, glorious memories we have of our super fan days.

If we raise these kids right, they will probably be super fans just like their respectable mommies!

And really…..What more could you ask for?

BEAR DOWN, CHICAGO BEARS!!!

Ten Things Only Chicago Fans Who Married Detroit Fans Will Understand

~ Kaitlyn @ Doing Dishes Making Wishes ~ 2 Comments
Photo by Michelle Goeppner
Photo by Michelle Goeppner

I am a Chicago girl at heart. I just love this city. I had to move away from it for a few years in college, and it pained me to be so far away. I moved back ASAP! I grew up in the southwest suburbs, and like any respectable south side father would, my dad raised us to be loyal White Sox, Bears, Bulls and Blackhawks fans. My Uncle Matt chipped in, and would regularly quiz my cousins, brothers and me as kids:

Example:

  • Q: Who is the best basketball player to ever live? A: Michael Jordan
  • Q: Who is Da Coach? A: Mike Ditka
  • Q: What was the best year ever recorded in football history? A: 1985
  • Q: Who will always get booed? A: The Cubs, The Packers and any team from Detroit

We were also taught to proudly sing the following songs:

I grew up to attend many a Blackhawks, Bears, Bulls and Sox game. Real life encounters with superfans is a daily occurrence in Chicagoland. Where else can you walk through the grocery store in a Blackhawks T-shirt and receive multiple high fives from fellow shoppers? There is no feeling quite like drinking a toast to Ditka with strangers at a tailgate. Nobody in this city is ever going to let go of saying “DA BEARS” and “DITKA” and “DA BULLS” – and in my opinion, it is glorious.

This stuff will always inspire happiness in my soul – And if that doesn’t sum up the extent of our South Side Chicago brainwashing – I don’t know what else will. So I am going move forward with this post and assume you get the picture.

As a born and bred Chicago fan I have done the unthinkable:

I married a Detroit fan.

I don’t even know what possessed me, but it is too late to turn back now. We are a household divided. If you also live in such a home, you will understand. So this one’s for you, my fellow cross-breeders!

Ten Things Only Chicago Fans Who Married Detroit Fans Will Understand:

1. Your spouse despises all the songs posted above, and mocks them constantly. Especially when Chicago is losing.

Nothing gets your blood boiling like your beloved’s rendition of “Suck it, Suck it White Sox”. Nothing.

2. They can’t stand your happiness when the Blackhawks are YET AGAIN playing to bring Lord Stanley home.

They mutter the words “nobody cares” every time the playoff highlights are on the news. They aggressively turn off the car radio when “Chelsea Dagger” starts playing. They will even go out of their way to change the channel “accidentally” during the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Jealous much?

3. Every time you talk about the Bears winning the Superbowl, the love of your life asks you how long ago 1985 was.

IT DOESN’T MATTER, YOU ASSHOLE!

4. They pretend like it is a fun family rivalry, while secretly brainwashing your children with blasphemy the minute your back is turned.

My 4-year-old child: “Go Tigers, Mommy! Daddy says you are going to be devastated when the White Sox lose. I will be happy though, because me and Dad cheer for the Tigers now.”

Me: “Oh sweet pea, you got mixed up. You really mean Go Go White Sox! RIGHT?! WHITE SOX!!!” (WTF?! Where the Hell is her father? He will burn for this. Burn.)

5. They declare war on the entire city of Chicago when their team is in town.

Some examples: Running into sports bars shamelessly wearing a Lions away jersey. Randomly yelling “DETROIT!” while walking the streets. Frantically texting buddies back home about how much Chicago fans suck. Getting carried away and telling Chicago fans how much they suck to their face, and then having to be saved from imminent death by their wife who is (luckily) a Chicago fan.

6. They desperately cling to Detroit sports memorabilia, and try to sneak that crap into the nice, Chicagoland home you share.

Over my dead body will he mount that Detroit sign in the living room. And why does this Tigers blanket keep ending up on the couch when I have put that stupid thing away like twenty times?! GOD DAMN IT, CODY! For the hundredth time: NO! The dancing Lions man absolutely CANNOT live on our bedside table!

7. They tell anyone who will listen that Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” is actually a Detroit song.

Maybe it was….Before 2005. Sorry, Michigan. Did we ever tell you about the time the White Sox won the World series?

8. When they see other Detroit fans in Chicago they get way too excited.

My husband almost crashed the car on the Stevenson. He cut across 2 lanes of traffic and endangered the lives of his wife and children. Why? So he could drive next to “his allies” – a.k.a. random dudes in another car wearing Detroit hats.

9. No matter how cute your kids are, they just look like crap in Detroit gear.

Sure, the girls can wear their Redwings T-shirts today. Around the house. For the hour that you are home from work. No pictures.

10. They begrudgingly admit Michael Jordan was awesome, despite the fact that he played for the Bulls.

Thank God I didn’t marry a complete imbecile.

We may be a household divided, but I love my husband despite his obvious flaws…

Until the next White Sox vs. Tigers series, that is.

Love conquers all, right?