I am a Chicago girl at heart. I just love this city. I had to move away from it for a few years in college, and it pained me to be so far away. I moved back ASAP! I grew up in the southwest suburbs, and like any respectable south side father would, my dad raised us to be loyal White Sox, Bears, Bulls and Blackhawks fans. My Uncle Matt chipped in, and would regularly quiz my cousins, brothers and me as kids:
Example:
- Q: Who is the best basketball player to ever live? A: Michael Jordan
- Q: Who is Da Coach? A: Mike Ditka
- Q: What was the best year ever recorded in football history? A: 1985
- Q: Who will always get booed? A: The Cubs, The Packers and any team from Detroit
We were also taught to proudly sing the following songs:
- “Go Go White Sox”
- “Bear Down”
- “The Superbowl Shuffle”
- There is even a home movie of my family performing the “Superbowl Shuffle”. (I am the baby with my Great Grandma Grace in the very beginning!) I am so proud to say that my dad is the one filming my grandparents, mother, aunts and uncles making this magical moment in history.
I grew up to attend many a Blackhawks, Bears, Bulls and Sox game. Real life encounters with superfans is a daily occurrence in Chicagoland. Where else can you walk through the grocery store in a Blackhawks T-shirt and receive multiple high fives from fellow shoppers? There is no feeling quite like drinking a toast to Ditka with strangers at a tailgate. Nobody in this city is ever going to let go of saying “DA BEARS” and “DITKA” and “DA BULLS” – and in my opinion, it is glorious.
This stuff will always inspire happiness in my soul – And if that doesn’t sum up the extent of our South Side Chicago brainwashing – I don’t know what else will. So I am going move forward with this post and assume you get the picture.
As a born and bred Chicago fan I have done the unthinkable:
I married a Detroit fan.
I don’t even know what possessed me, but it is too late to turn back now. We are a household divided. If you also live in such a home, you will understand. So this one’s for you, my fellow cross-breeders!
Ten Things Only Chicago Fans Who Married Detroit Fans Will Understand:
1. Your spouse despises all the songs posted above, and mocks them constantly. Especially when Chicago is losing.
Nothing gets your blood boiling like your beloved’s rendition of “Suck it, Suck it White Sox”. Nothing.
2. They can’t stand your happiness when the Blackhawks are YET AGAIN playing to bring Lord Stanley home.
They mutter the words “nobody cares” every time the playoff highlights are on the news. They aggressively turn off the car radio when “Chelsea Dagger” starts playing. They will even go out of their way to change the channel “accidentally” during the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Jealous much?
3. Every time you talk about the Bears winning the Superbowl, the love of your life asks you how long ago 1985 was.
IT DOESN’T MATTER, YOU ASSHOLE!
4. They pretend like it is a fun family rivalry, while secretly brainwashing your children with blasphemy the minute your back is turned.
My 4-year-old child: “Go Tigers, Mommy! Daddy says you are going to be devastated when the White Sox lose. I will be happy though, because me and Dad cheer for the Tigers now.”
Me: “Oh sweet pea, you got mixed up. You really mean Go Go White Sox! RIGHT?! WHITE SOX!!!” (WTF?! Where the Hell is her father? He will burn for this. Burn.)
5. They declare war on the entire city of Chicago when their team is in town.
Some examples: Running into sports bars shamelessly wearing a Lions away jersey. Randomly yelling “DETROIT!” while walking the streets. Frantically texting buddies back home about how much Chicago fans suck. Getting carried away and telling Chicago fans how much they suck to their face, and then having to be saved from imminent death by their wife who is (luckily) a Chicago fan.
6. They desperately cling to Detroit sports memorabilia, and try to sneak that crap into the nice, Chicagoland home you share.
Over my dead body will he mount that Detroit sign in the living room. And why does this Tigers blanket keep ending up on the couch when I have put that stupid thing away like twenty times?! GOD DAMN IT, CODY! For the hundredth time: NO! The dancing Lions man absolutely CANNOT live on our bedside table!
7. They tell anyone who will listen that Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” is actually a Detroit song.
Maybe it was….Before 2005. Sorry, Michigan. Did we ever tell you about the time the White Sox won the World series?
8. When they see other Detroit fans in Chicago they get way too excited.
My husband almost crashed the car on the Stevenson. He cut across 2 lanes of traffic and endangered the lives of his wife and children. Why? So he could drive next to “his allies” – a.k.a. random dudes in another car wearing Detroit hats.
9. No matter how cute your kids are, they just look like crap in Detroit gear.
Sure, the girls can wear their Redwings T-shirts today. Around the house. For the hour that you are home from work. No pictures.
10. They begrudgingly admit Michael Jordan was awesome, despite the fact that he played for the Bulls.
Thank God I didn’t marry a complete imbecile.
We may be a household divided, but I love my husband despite his obvious flaws…
Until the next White Sox vs. Tigers series, that is.
Love conquers all, right?
Haha my husband and I are the inverse of this – I’m from Detroit and he’s from Chicago. We have kind of compromised on a couple things. I will cheer for the Bears and White Sox if they’re not playing Detroit teams and vice versa with the Tigers and Lions. Kids cheer for the Tigers and Blackhawks. I made him sell this horrible giant MJ poster he had in his apartment before we got married.
Hilarious! Glad we aren’t the only ones who are trying to make a marriage work through all the sports rivalry. I knew there had to be more of us out there!