Our Elf Has A Spot On Our Shelf

December 9, 2015December 11, 2015 ~ Kaitlyn @ Doing Dishes Making Wishes ~ Leave a comment

Every holiday has its fluff. Easter has the eggs and bunny, Halloween has costumes and candy, and Fourth of July has barbecues and fireworks. Christmas has the most fluff of them all. So, naturally, people start drinking haterade and talking crazy about the newest evils contrived in the name of Santa and his minions. Like this article and this article that keep popping up in my social media.

There he is. The innocent Elf on the Shelf. He didn’t ask to be pulled into a political battle of Mom squads. It is just like our generation of parents to go to extremes on this simple crap. You must stand on one of two sides – Team Pinterest Elf or Team Burn the Elf. Your elf can bake Goddamn cakes out of his own candy cane poop at midnight, or you can take to social media and demand this poor elf burn in Hellfire. Clearly, we all have taken this a little too far and ruined what was a cute idea and fun activity for our kids by projecting our own crap onto it. Our generation of parents is literally the worst. Calm down, people!

The elf is called “The Elf on the SHELF“. All it needs to do is move around your house and sit somewhere. It provides an explanation to your 5-year-old on how Santa can keep an eye on every child in the world. The elf doesn’t need to take hostages. It doesn’t need to host parties with all its doll friends. It doesn’t need to go fishing for goldfish crackers. It certainly can if mom has a clever imagination and 10 extra minutes before bed, but – GOD ALMIGHTY – it does not have to!

I think it is funny when somebody tells me they don’t have time for the elf. I hate when people make excuses for their own laziness. It is not a time-consuming endeavor. I promise. How hard is it to move an elf from a shelf in the kitchen to a table top in the living room once the kids go to bed? I’ll tell you….

NOT HARD AT ALL. I even manage to do it in under 30 seconds on my way to the laundry room with a basket full of laundry. (Now is the moment where I will be accepting my mom of the year award. Seriously. I moved the elf ANNNDD did a load of laundry. I deserve an award.)

My girls (ages 3 and 5) are not afraid of the elf. In fact, they look forward to her arrival. They start asking about her after Thanksgiving, and on the day she arrives from the North Pole (December 1st) the excitement in our house is palpable. They jump out of bed every morning and run around the house looking for her new spot. When they find her, they squeal with delight and come tearing around the corner to tell me where she is. It is all fun and games over here. I don’t know where there are Nazi elves scaring the pants off children, but it isn’t in this house. My kids are not threatened with impending Christmas morning doom if the elf happens to witness a naughty moment, anymore than I was during my childhood Christmastime.

A version of the elf was around when we were growing up. You still had to “be good” for Santa. Remember when we were kids and sang “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” at every school Christmas show we ever starred in? I’ll refresh your memory. The lyrics say,

“He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when your awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake!”

OH! So you doooo remember! We were fed the same crap as children. Instead of having an elf visit our house, we were told an old man used Christmas magic to watch all the children in the world. So why weren’t our parents calling in outrage for the lyrics to be edited?! Why didn’t they come to the realization that Santa is probably a pedophile that needs to be stopped!? I mean, who watches kids in their sleep and makes them sing songs about it?! Our entire generation is screwed up now, and it is all because our parents didn’t care enough to take away the magic of Christmas. They let us believe Santa was watching us. And now here we all are. One big generation of the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse. <—–(See what I did there? I went Clark Giswold on you guys. You’re welcome!)

I don’t remember feeling violated by Santa or his elves as a child. I only remember that magical feeling of Christmas filling the house with every day we counted closer to Christmas eve. I remember fighting to stay awake to see Santa and staring out the window until my eyes watered, looking for the red dot that was Rudolph’s nose steering the sleigh towards my house. I remember waking up and trampling down the stairs with my brothers to see if Santa had come on Christmas morning. I also remember when I found out for certain that the actual man “Santa Claus” did not really exist. I knew I was too old to believe in him, but I was secretly mad at my mom after she confirmed what the kids said at school to be true. Santa wasn’t real. Going into that Christmas, I thought it was all over. Christmas was going to be just another day now. Nothing special or magical.

Turns out I was wrong. I watched my little brothers truly believing in the magic as they ripped into their gifts. I learned the rewarding feeling of giving through Santa Claus. Christmas magic and Santa still totally exist for me today. I love seeing my extended family, exchanging presents, making Christmas cookies, decorating the house and singing Christmas music. I love creating the magic for my own children. I put my heart and soul into it. I make my holiday season all about my kids.

That might rub some people the wrong way, but too bad! I have about 5 more years (at least…hopefully!) that both of my kids can truly believe in something magical, and I am not about to waste it by making excuses and whining about the miseries of finding a new spot to plop our elf. I am going to milk these years for all that they are worth. If it means I stay up late a few nights, then fine! It’s worth it to me.

My kids have the rest of their lives to worry about the financial strain and mass commercialization of the holidays. I can definitely wait a few more years before introducing them to the grim details of the way our society works, and until then, I would like their childhood Christmases to be as spectacular as I can personally make them. They are imaginative, creative, mischievous, wonderful little girls who deserve it. They love that little elf, so I am going to keep moving her to a new spot each night and continue to welcome her into our house each year. I know that one year, all too soon, December 1st is going to come around without the excitement and squeals that usually accompany our elf’s arrival. Then I’ll set her on a shelf to watch over us, and teach my girls the real, grown-up magic of Christmas.

Still hate Elf on a Shelf?

Just saying! 😉

Happy holidays, everybody!

Click to find out where you can have some Free Christmas Fun with your whole family!

Everything is Covered in Glitter

November 29, 2015November 29, 2015 ~ Kaitlyn @ Doing Dishes Making Wishes ~ 1 Comment

Everything I own is covered in glitter.

No matter how much I vacuum. No matter how much I dust, sweep and mop.

GLITTER. Freaking everywhere.

This might make you question where I live….Is it a night club? Some kind of Christmas twilight zone? A preschool classroom gone wrong? A land of never-ending fairy tales?

Yes. Yes. Yes. And YES. I live in some kind of curious amalgam of these places.

I live with two little girls. They are 5 and 3 years old. If you also live with little girls, please nod your head in understanding as you give me a pat on the back through your computer. I know you get it. For those of you that don’t have this particular honor, I will elaborate.

These little girls are constantly changing their outfits and playing dress up. Their dress up clothes are covered in glitter and rhinestones. The gaudier the better! They wear these princess outfits all over my house. They sit on the furniture to drink tea and hold court. They dance and twirl down the hallways. They whip through this place in a tornado of shimmering tutus, royal jewels and giggles. So my furniture is permanently covered in glitter. In fact, the glitter has worked its way into the fibers of all the upholstery. It doesn’t even vacuum up anymore. All I need to do is dim the lights and the couch looks like a booth in a low-class nightclub.

The Christmas decorations came out this weekend. I love Christmas, and I love that my girls love Christmas. The more Christmas stuff, the better! Except that I spent time working the decorations strategically into my home’s decor, and my daughters have zero regard for visual balance in a room. My careful consideration of where to place my Christmas things is fruitless. Every Christmas decoration looks like a toy to them. Their tiny fingers just can’t resist picking things up to look at them and move them around. Some of the Christmas things are sparkly. Some of the sparkles fall off because they are not meant to be played with by little hands. These sparkles and glitter sprinkle the floors, shelves and end tables that these items were placed on. Curious little girls have no concept of when their mom last dusted those exact surfaces. (AHEM….Yesterday.) So I basically am living in a never-ending sparkle dust nightmare, and it would take a Christmas miracle to wake me up.

I love crafts and art projects, and I love doing them with my kids. I actually talked Cody into converting a large closet into an art space for the kids. We do crafts and art projects daily. Clearly, art with these fairy princesses means:

“It’s not finished unless it sparkles.”

We have a plethora of gems, rhinestones, sparkle paint, sparkle glue, sparkle beads and – you guessed it – glitter. In every shade of the rainbow. No matter how much I supervise and try to control the art chaos, I end up sweeping up a glitter shitstorm every afternoon. What is it about glitter that just makes it migrate everywhere?! As I sweep the floors, my eyes catch tiny glints in the grooves of the wood. Just taunting me. Asking why I don’t care enough to get down on my hands and knees to obliterate every last flake of glitter from my floors once and for all? The answer is simple: Because it will be back tomorrow….And the next day…And the day after that. For every flake of glitter I clean up, two more will allude me until the sun reaches the right angle in the sky. Then I will see another glint….And another….And then even more glints come evening once the lights get turned on. Just thinking about it is enough to make me go bat-shit crazy! So I’ll just continue to sweep what I can, and pretend like I did a good job. For my sanity. Screw those out-of-reach flakes in the floor grooves! They add character to the house.

The imaginations of a preschooler and toddler know no bounds. I love that they play pretend. I love that they really believe pixie dust will make them fly. I even love the fact that glitter looks a lot like pixie dust. Our glitter stash from the aforementioned daily craft party is kept on the high shelf in their art space. Turns out, Avery can reach this shelf with the help of a chair to stand on. I know this for a fact. Because today I came around the corner and found the girls chanting,

“Faith, trust and PIXIE DUST!”

Avery began tossing handfuls of glitter on Emmy’s head. She then instructed her little sister,

“Keep your eyes closed and think your happy thoughts, Em! After you start to fly you have to give me some pixie dust so I can fly too, OK?”

Poor Emmy. She really thought she was going to fly. Her face was pinched up with the effort of thinking all those happy thoughts, and her chubby little 3-year-old arms were flapping like she was about to take off. Flecks of glitter were falling over her cheeks and working their way into her clothes. There was an actual PILE of glitter on the top of that kid’s head.

I immediately flared with pure, red anger. How dare those little stinkers drag a chair over to the high art shelf and take down some of its forbidden contents! What on earth went through their heads when they thought that tossing HANDFULS of glitter over the freshly vacuumed carpet would ever be acceptable? And more importantly…..WHO THE HELL DID THEY THINK WAS GOING TO CLEAN THIS MESS UP?!

Then the anger faded and I just smiled. Because I remember what it was like to be an imaginative little girl. I remember what it was like to get so wrapped up in your playtime fairy tale story, that you forget about the everyday rules. I remember trying to explain to adults that I didn’t mean to make a mess, it just happened. In Neverland pixie dust makes you fly, and definitely doesn’t need to be cleaned up. These two little girls were in Neverland, not my living room. They were sprinkling pixie dust, not glitter. And they were going to fly! How exciting is that?

In my moment of reflection, Avery looked up at me and said, “MOM! We found Tinkerbell’s pixie dust! We are going to figure out how to use it to fly! Do you want to fly with us?!”

I told her I couldn’t fly. Pixie dust is only for kids, so they can get to Neverland. Grown-ups are not allowed there, because it is the place where kids never grow up. Then I picked Emmy up and spun her around, because after all that hard work thinking happy thoughts, a little girl covered in pixie dust should definitely get to fly! We spent the afternoon playing “pixie dust”. The girls sprinkled each other with glitter and thought happy thoughts. I picked them up and flew them around. We ran out of glitter and our tummies hurt from giggling. Once we came back home from Neverland, the girls helped me sweep and vacuum what could be picked up. The rest of the glitter flecks worked their way into the carpet fibers and grooves of the wood floor, joining the ones that were already there. To taunt me until the end of time. Oh well.

So yes. Everything I own is covered in glitter. I just needed a little faith, trust and pixie dust to realize that I wouldn’t have it any other way.

If you liked reading about my silly kids in this post, you can read more about their antics here!

Get Your Kids to Sleep…So You Can Sleep!

November 4, 2015November 5, 2015 ~ Kaitlyn @ Doing Dishes Making Wishes ~ 2 Comments

Since starting this blog, I have been talking to other moms so much more. I find it interesting to hear how other women manage their households. It gives me insight and other perspectives. One huge thing that always comes up is how bedtime and sleep are managed. I started to become super curious after hearing so many different opinions! Every household has a different routine at bedtime and different sleep habits for their family. I guess I was under the assumption that night comes and people sleep. Seems like that would make sense, right?

Except for one shocking little detail….

So many families are getting no sleep at all.

Sure, everybody goes through what I like to call “The Months of Newborn Hell”. It is a time of feeding, burping, spit up, changing and rocking to sleep. This process is repeated every 3 hours. Unless of course your baby decides it needs to cluster feed one day. Then you can go ahead and repeat all of that on the hour for 4 hours straight. Maybe you got lucky and popped out a kid with reflux or colic??? Your only hope for sleep anytime in the near future is prayer. Sorry. Truth hurts.

If you can navigate your way out of the months of newborn hell, you are already halfway to success! A good night’s sleep is so close you can taste it! So why are so many parents playing a nightly game of musical beds with their 2-year-olds? Why do I have friends who cannot sleep in the same bed as their husband because their 4-year-old “won’t let them”? Why am I listening to someone complain that they are getting up to give their 18-month-old a bottle at 3:00 AM?

My mind is boggled.

My kids are currently 5 and 3 years old. Since they were about 6 months old, they both have slept through the night for at least 10 hours, in their own beds, in their own rooms and in the dark. Now the next part of this post is a bit touchy because I am going to tell you how I was able to achieve this. It involves sleep training. I know there are people out there who feel very strongly against it – for whatever their reasons. I can assure you my children are perfectly fine and not even close to emotionally damaged after going through a few nights of sleep training. If you want to stop reading now – please do! I promise I won’t lose any sleep over it! (<—See what I just did there? Hehe!)

If you want to hold your kids until they fall asleep every night – Go for it!

If you want to hang out for an hour in your toddler’s room while you wait for them to fall asleep – More power to you!

If you actually like sleeping next to your kids more than your husband – Keep on keepin’ on, girl!

Some moms genuinely love falling asleep under a loving pile of their own kids. I am not here to tell you what will work for your family. I could care less what goes on under your roof at midnight. Buuuut if you are someone like me…Someone who really wants to end their day unwinding with an hour or two of adult time plus a good night’s sleep, then you need to consider sleep training those rugrats!

This plan is pretty simple. Ready???

Step 1: Get a copy of “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Marc Weissbluth, M.D.
Step 2: Read it and do what Dr. Weissbluth recommends for your family.
Step 3: Thank me next week when your whole family is getting a full nights sleep!

I am only half-joking. I really did use that book as my infant sleep bible. I figured I would share this post because so many parents have openly admitted that they do not know where they went wrong at bedtime. There is a way out, and I know this because I did it! My Auntie Christy gave me a copy of this book after a night of babysitting my super-fussy-at-bedtime baby. I read it immediately, and it turns out I had no clue what I was doing at bedtime. I put the recommended sleep plan into action and never EVER looked back.

Before you begin:

Read the book, or at least the parts that apply to you and your household.
Establish a comfort object early on. These are instrumental in helping kids self-soothe. My girls each have one of these “blankies” by Angel Dear.
Develop a schedule in your household that works best for everyone. Set mealtimes, playtime, nap time for babies and toddlers, quiet time for kids who no longer nap, bathtime and bedtime. Be prepared to strictly enforce the schedule for a few weeks until the routine is well-established.
Develop a bedtime routine that you can manage to maintain EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. The bedtime routine is important, because it is what relaxes your child and prepares them for sleep. It can be as easy as a quick bath and a 5 minute bedtime story, but it needs to stay the same every night in order to establish sleep. You will want to start the bedtime routine with enough time to complete it before your scheduled bedtime.
If you want to know how it works in our house, I am happy to share our bedtime routine with you all. If you don’t care, then skip it. Our routine might not be what works for you!
- Our Bedtime Routine:
  - Around 7:00 PM I give Emmy her bath. As soon as she is done, Avery gets in the shower.
  - The girls pick out their pajamas and get dressed. They brush their hair and teeth.
  - Usually it is around 7:30 now. They each are required to do a “potty check” right before climbing into bed. (I don’t like changing wet sheets in the middle of the night. Can you blame me?)
  - Avery heads into her room to pick out a book and waits for me while I put Emmy to bed.
  - In Emmy’s room I read her one book, tuck her in with a kiss, turn off her light, and close her door.
  - I head to Avery’s room where I read her one book, tuck her in with a kiss, turn on her nightlight, turn off her light, and close her door. (A couple months ago Avery started to be afraid of the dark. This is normal at preschool age because their imaginations are very active. We allow her to have a nightlight now. Neither of our kids used nightlights up until that point because babies are not afraid of the dark.)
  - Bedtime is over and done with by 8:00, so I usually pour a glass of wine and rejoice in my hours of adult time!
- Notes:
  - Both girls bring their comfort objects to bed with them.
  - They are NEVER allowed out of bed after bedtime unless there is illness or a bathroom emergency.
  - I ABSOLUTELY NEVER allow them to sleep in my bed. If there is a problem in the night such as a bad dream or potty accident – I go to them, fix the problem and tuck them back into their own bed once they are comforted. Then I head back to my own spacious bed where I stretch out and enjoy some more quality sleep.

Sooooo, you have your schedule and bedtime routine down pat? Start teaching your children to self-soothe and fall asleep independently! Follow Dr. Weissbluth’s advice based on your household type. The book is very specific, and gives suggestions according to the needs of your own individual family. He covers children of various ages, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, infant temperament, reflux, colic, and many other common topics that would have an effect on your entire family’s quality of sleep at night. I promise, no matter what your current sleep situation is, this book covers it.

Don’t trust my advice on all of this? I DON’T BLAME YOU!

……(I feel a rant coming on)…..

I shouldn’t have to remind you that this is a blog. Anybody can start a blog, and anybody can publish whatever crap information they would like on that blog! I absolutely refuse to follow the advice of someone who cannot support their parenting decisions with research from accredited sources. (I’m looking at you, natural mommy blogs. Cite something. For the love of God, just prove to me ANYTHING your wrote about is true! And speaking of God…No, the Bible is not a valid source of SCIENTIFIC INFORMATION. I am so glad you love Jesus, but he doesn’t know how your infant’s brain waves look during a REM sleep cycle. A pediatric sleep expert does. Amen.)

I will always do my best to provide you links to the research I did while making the parenting decisions I discuss on this blog. I will never cite another blog as a source – BECAUSE THAT IS NOT AN ACCREDITED, VALID PLACE TO OBTAIN ACCURATE INFORMATION. Unless the author of that blog can share where they obtained the information, and unless that information came from a university study, a medical journal, a book or paper published by a recognized expert in their field, or another ACCREDITED SOURCE – Do you see where I am going with this yet?! – I can only assume they made all that stuff up.

(End Rant.)

OK. I feel better now. Here’s some information:

The information I used to establish my family’s sleep habits came from Northwestern Children’s Practice and Children’s Hospital Colorado, as well as Dr. Weissbluth’s “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” book.

Who is Dr. Marc Weissbluth?

“Dr. Weissbluth graduated from Stanford University and Washington University Medical School. He completed his pediatric training at St. Louis Children’s Hospital and is a Professor of Clinical Pediatrics at Northwestern University School of Medicine. His interests include infant and child development, colic / crying, and childhood sleep problems. He is also the author of numerous publications, including books for parents such as Crybabies, Sweet Baby: How to Soothe Your Newborn, Your Fussy Baby, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins. “

Here is a link to some great info about night feeding by Barton D. Schmitte, M.D., pediatrician at Children’s Hospital Colorado.

Still struggling with your child’s sleep? You can find infant sleep consultants at Northwestern Children’s Practice, right here in the good old Windy City. Here is their link to some handy handouts about infant sleep.

Did you enjoy this post? You might also like this one!

Jonamac Orchard

September 23, 2015September 23, 2015 ~ Kaitlyn @ Doing Dishes Making Wishes ~ Leave a comment

This is my family’s new favorite apple orchard!

Look at those cute little apple pickers! :-) — Look at those cute little apple pickers!

*** #basicwhitegirl alert!!!! ***

IT’S FREAKING FALL, YA’LL!!!!

Do you even know what that means!? No?!

Well…..Good thing you have me here to tell you….

It means apple and pumpkin EVERYTHING. (It also means football season. Which consequently means buffalo sauce and chili everything. In fall I tend to gain a few pounds to help me hibernate through the winter. Don’t tell anyone, but leggings have an elastic waist band and coordinate perfectly with flowy tops that hide said pounds. Shhh. Our secret.)

But back to my APPLE EVERYTHING state of mind…

I have a love for apple season that goes deep. Every fall, my mom and Grammy would make homemade applesauce with freshly-picked apples. In case you live under a rock, or perhaps were not as fortunate as I was growing up, that equals the BEST damn applesauce you have ever tasted. I will post the recipe for you. I promise. I just can’t post it yet, because that would be putting the cart before the horse. Before you make awesome applesauce you need some freshly-picked apples!

Where do you get those?

Ummmm…..Apple picking farms. Silly.

Going off the success of my “Good Cheap Fun” post I wrote at the beginning of the summer, I decided throwing some good cheap FALL fun your way was a good idea too. My first post of fall 2015 is below! 🙂

JONAMAC ORCHARD

19412 Shabbona Road, Malta, IL

We went there this afternoon, and I have to tell you how much we loved it RIGHT NOW. This just can’t wait. We had so much fun. I’m serious.

It is adorable. Everything is so darn cute and clean. There literally was not a piece of hay out of place here. Right off the bat they have cute photo-ops set up just waiting for you to snap your daily Instagram photo! (Feel free to #jonamacorchard #applepicking #ilovefall to your little social media heart’s content!)

It really is good cheap fun here, because admission on weekdays is FREE. No joke. FREE. You just walk right on in, no questions asked. This includes all kinds of activities like:

rubber ducky racing,

tractor bike racing,

pretend tractor driving,

playhouse exploring,

rope climbing and mini-maze maneuvering,

sliding,

old-school gaming,

corn silo swimming,

and hay bale mountain climbing! Recap – all of that is FREE on weekdays.

On weekday afternoons, you can add this awesome jumpy pillow and animal barn to all the free activities I already listed for $4.00 per child and $2.00 per adult. Children 2 and under are free with paid adult. I promise you will want to participate in the jumpy pillow because you are cool parents like us. Soooo $2.00 of fun is coming your way! Read more about the weekday after school special here.

If you visit on the weekend, you will have to pay admission. Don’t worry though – there is good news! The corn maze and tractor rides are only open on weekends and admission prices are actually pretty affordable. Jonamac even offers a family pass – $32.00 for a family of 4. Not bad considering what you pay at some other orchards and fall farms! Click here for more information about activities and admission prices.

There is also a pumpkin patch that was not open when we were there – It opens this weekend 9/26! Click here to find out more.

So now that you have had a crap-ton of fall fun on the farm, you need to get to work doing what you came to do: Go pick some apples!

Before you venture into the orchard, stop by The Country Store or The Apple Hut to purchase your picking bags. There are no admission fees to the orchard, but you can only use the purchased bags to hold your apples. Don’t waste your time bringing your own sacks. Click here to find out more pricing and picking information.

I recommend checking the apple chart before heading out for the day to see what varieties are available for picking. You can also use the chart to decide which apple variety would be best for you, especially if you are unfamiliar with apple varieties. (Some are better for baking, some are better for snacking.) Check their Facebook page for updates as well.

Once you are in the orchard, get picking! There are crates that the kids can stand on so that they can reach the tree branches. My girls loved it! You can have a freshly-picked apple for a snack while you pick. Clearly, my Emmy took full advantage of this offer. Yum.

A few other tidbits you might want to know….

This place is stroller friendly! (There are so many fall farms and festivals that aren’t, so when you find one that is, you hold that precious gem close to your heart until your kids can log their own Fitbit miles.) The farm grounds have well-maintained gravel paths connecting the attractions.

The paths even run into the orchard! You can definitely feel confident bringing your stroller or wagon here. If you have a young family like me, it is worth noting that the bathroom situation is waaaaay better than other seasonal fall farms. You have a couple of options. They have plenty of port-a-potties, complete with a hand washing station and hand sanitizer. There are also real, working bathrooms inside The Country Store. There are only a couple stalls, but if you just can’t handle port-a-potties with your kiddos then head over there!

While you are in The Country Store, check this cute board for upcoming events and browse the adorable fall decor, apple butter, apple donuts, apple pies, apple cider and APPLE WINE for sale. (I had you at wine, right?) Buy some. I have tasted it. DELICIOUS. Then go ahead and impulse buy lots of fall crap! I promise you won’t regret it. (You really did need a bunch of distressed signs and mason jars filled with cinnamon. Your house rocks now. I know. I just get you.)

Stop by The Apple Cart, Kettle Corn Barn or The Country Store if you get hungry on the weekends, but head to The Country Store if it is a weekday. There is also a nice pavilion full of picnic tables, and plenty of grassy areas to spread out a blanket if you brought your own food. Even if you packed a picnic, you should still grab their apple donuts for dessert. Feel free to thank me for telling you to do that – because they are freaking amazing.

Give the drive a chance! Jonamac Orchard might look farther away on a map, but it was way more convenient for us to visit then some of the comparable orchards over the Indiana border. It is 10 minutes from DeKalb (GO HUSKIES!), and basically in the opposite direction of all the crappy traffic and road construction surrounding the city, burbs and Indiana border. It took an hour for us to get there, but I promise you that we didn’t see a break light the entire drive! So worth it!

Jonamac’s husky! NIUUUUU!

Now go visit Jonamac Orchard and tell me how much you loved it in the comments. We already have plans to go back, so see you all there!

Happy apple picking!

🙂 Kaitlyn

Ten Things Only Moms Who Used To Be Super Fans Can Understand

August 14, 2015August 14, 2015 ~ Kaitlyn @ Doing Dishes Making Wishes ~ 1 Comment

It’s Sunday. Game day.

Open your eyes and take a deep breath of that chilly breeze blowing through your window. Your friends are picking you up in an hour to go tailgate. Get up and start to get ready! Have a beer while you shower. Go ahead. Nobody’s stopping you, and that shower beer is the perfect way to start Sunday Funday. It’s so cold and refreshing, competing with the warm steam of the shower. Ahhh. Living the dream. Just loving life and enjoying a shower beer.

Do your hair so that it still looks good under a knitted hat. Select an outfit that makes you look cute, clearly distinguishes you as a hot Chicago Bears fan and keeps you warm enough at the same time. Perfection. Now fill up a big travel mug with coffee and Bailey’s, throw ice on the orange and blue jello shots in the cooler and jump in the truck when your friends pull up.

Are you ready for some football?!?!

HELL YES. SUNDAY FUNDAY. BEAR DOWN, CHICAGO!!!

Now fast forward 5 years……

I wake up to little people who need a lot all at once. I chug hot, black coffee even thought it is burning my tongue. I remember the coffee-and-Bailey’s-Sundays fondly for a fleeting moment, but I don’t even have any hard liquor in the house. I sigh and google the Bear’s schedule between pouring glasses of milk, because I actually don’t even know when and who they play this week. (It’s not that I don’t care! I had to re-prioritize everything when I became a mommy. I literally have no time to worry about sports anymore.) Turns out they don’t play until Monday night. Oh well. Come noon, my husband will sit in front of the TV and multiple computer screens, so wrapped up in a combination of his fantasy team and work that the house could burn down around him and he wouldn’t notice. I take the kids to the zoo, because the house feels like a zoo anyway.

Bye Sunday Funday….Probably forever.

Tears. Grief. Mourning.

I am a mommy who was once a fan. A true fan. I loved tailgating outside Soldier field. I loved high-fiving other super fans in the stands after every touch down. I loved watching the entire game, uninterrupted, with everyone at the local sports bar. I loved knowing the players stats, who got traded and who was injured. I just loved to breathe that crisp fall air because it meant football, food, beer and fun. Daaaa Bears!

Were you a mom who was once a fan too?

I wholeheartedly understand this dilemma. You are not alone.

Ten Things Only Moms Who Used To Be Super Fans Can Understand:

1. Attending the game is only fun until you are exhausted.

Let’s be real – I can’t keep up with my cool, hip, childless friends. After two beers during the tailgate, I feel nice and toasty. After two more beers in the stadium, I need to lay down. I have to pace myself. Stay hydrated. I also can’t forget to swing by the ATM to pay the babysitter later, because I somehow already spent all my cash. Was it always 10 bucks a beer at Soldier Field? No wonder I was broke in my twenties. I supposed I could always play it smart and stay sober, but that also equals being the caretaker and designated driver for all those Sunday Funday clowns I came here with. No thanks. I’ll take my chances with beer.

2. I can just watch the game with a few friends at a sports bar!

Brilliant plan, imbecile. See #1.

3. Staying home to watch the game doesn’t really work either.

I try to catch a play or two in-between prepping dinner, folding laundry and granting fruit snack requests every 15 minutes. I might also attempt to enjoy a hard cider before somebody knocks it over and I have to clean the carpet.

4. Let’s bring the kids with to the game! It will be fun!

Oh sure! Really fun! Because dropping a couple hundred bucks to haul around a backpack full of snacks and sippy cups, celebrate touchdowns by holding a toddler over the potty, play musical stadium chairs and apologize repeatedly to everyone around you sounds like an epic time. Said no one. Ever.

5. Family-friendly doesn’t apply to Buffalo Wild Wings on football Sundays.

Because now you have a baby. In a bar.

6. Your husband has magical powers.

The outside world doesn’t exist to him from 11:59 AM Sunday until 12:01 AM Monday. He can tune out the entire household. He will be mentally gone for 12 full hours, and will sometimes resurface from football land to find beer and food. Don’t even try to wake him from this Cinderella spell. It is only more energy wasted on your part. It is him and his fantasy teams. Why he was granted this freedom and you were not is an eternal mystery, but at least his roster is pretty stacked! Let’s hope he wins some big cash this season!

7. Every other commitment you have seems to fall on Sunday afternoon at kickoff.

You are an adult now. You have adult things to attend, and you can’t flake out like you did when you were 22 years old. Wedding showers, baby showers, birthday parties, family reunions, etc. – Be there or be square! Better hope your phone has decent service so you can get score updates, provided you have a minute to check it without looking rude as hell.

8. Don’t throw a Sunday Funday party. Just don’t.

At least once during football season, we all get the brilliant idea that throwing a party for the Bears game is going to be fun. It’s not. Now instead of watching the game you are cooking, cleaning and helping to take care of your friends’ kids. You suddenly remember why you swore not to do this again last year, and admit that next year it will probably sound like a good idea again. Oh well. At least I got to try out a new buffalo chicken recipe from Pinterest! Go Bears!

9. You don’t even know who half the team is anymore.

I haven’t watched the NFL draft for three years running. I vaguely remember Pat Tomasulo recapping what was going on with the Bear’s roster on the news while I made breakfast one day. None of the details remained in my brain. I save face by making fun of Jay Cutler. Because at least everybody can agree on hating Cutler.

10. You still have the cutest Bears apparel, but it is just collecting dust in the back of your closet.

Someday I will bust that tight little women’s jersey back out and Instagram the hell out of a game day selfie. Someday. After my boob job and tummy tuck.

See? I told you that you weren’t alone, my fellow fan who became a Mommy! I am down in the trenches with you, fighting the good fight from one football Sunday to the next.

It is going to turn out OK for us, I promise.

In a few years, the kids will be old enough to sit through a game. We can enjoy our football Sundays as a family. We can get out of the house to watch football games at Buffalo Wing Wings without stares full of judgement. We can take the kids to Bears games without backpacks full of baby crap. We can take them tailgating, teach them how to play bags like pros and eat Chicago style hot dogs with our tailgate neighbors. We can cheers water bottles and even eat blue and orange jello together. (This time without the vodka.) It will get better, and until it does, we can hold on to the carefree, glorious memories we have of our super fan days.

If we raise these kids right, they will probably be super fans just like their respectable mommies!

And really…..What more could you ask for?

BEAR DOWN, CHICAGO BEARS!!!

Good Cheap Fun

June 1, 2015August 3, 2015 ~ Kaitlyn @ Doing Dishes Making Wishes ~ 48 Comments

As a stay-at-home mom, I am perpetually bored. I am in constant search of things to do. I know it seems like it would be nice to just be home all the time, but I PROMISE you, it can make a girl go crazy. I can only hear the Mickey Mouse “Hot Diggity Dog” song so many times before I am tempted to run for the high hills. As a result, I began taking the kids out for numerous “adventures.”

We all benefit from some time out of the house, but I quickly learned how freaking expensive it is to keep up with these outings. Paying admission for 1 adult and 2 kids can add up fast, and I know darn well that I am not getting my money’s worth dragging a 4-year-old and 2-year-old around. Nothing is more aggravating to me than taking the kids somewhere and ending up $75 in the hole before we even get through the door! Not to mention the minute my 2-year-old has a meltdown, I am evacuating the place like it is on fire and I can kiss my $75 of fun goodbye! I decided during one of these episodes that we needed to start heading out to some low-budget entertainment.

It was so frustrating trying to find some of these hidden gems! The free stuff is rarely advertised, and I found a lot of these places through word-of-mouth. I was like an undercover mom spy last year, getting the scoop from random women I had never met at the playground. They probably thought I was a lunatic. It really shouldn’t have been that hard. So now….I will bestow this magical knowledge upon you!

This is my summer list! Everything on my list is cheap – $5 or less per person – if you follow my instructions. Most of it is even FREE! I am well aware of the fantastic attractions available to us in Chicagoland, but you won’t find them on this list. They are just too pricey! I live in the southwest burbs, so the things listed are within a reasonable distance of me. I categorized the list by activity. With each place I have included the address, summer hours, admission, parking and a link to the website. (If they have one, the link is highlighted in blue – some don’t have a website) I also provided some other random info that I love knowing ahead of time before heading out for a day with the kids. (Such as – if there is a picnic area, the bathroom situation, if it is stroller-friendly, etc.) I hope you can enjoy going on some of these adventures as much as we do! Happy exploring, my fellow adventurers!

Zoos:

Philips Park Zoo – Aurora, IL

FREE!

1000 Ray Moses Dr., Aurora, IL

Open daily from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm

A small zoo located in Philips Park. Philips Park also has playgrounds, a free splash pad, a sunken garden and picnic area with tables. There are restrooms inside the visitor center. There is plenty of free parking, and most of the zoo is stroller-friendly. No concessions, but you can bring your own food/drink and eat in the picnic area. The zoo has a lot of decent exhibits for being free. They do ask for donations, but it is not required. There are donation boxes inside the visitor center and at the zoo entry.

Cosley Zoo – Wheaton, IL

$5 or less per person

1356 North Gary Ave., Wheaton, IL

Open daily from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm

A very cute, clean little zoo! $4 per adult and all kids 17 and under are free! The whole zoo is stroller-friendly. There is a concession stand, but you can bring in your own food and drink. There is a picnic area with tables. Restrooms are on-site. Parking is free. You can feed the ducks and chickens daily. They also have a very cute “Backpack Explorer” self guided tour that my 4-year-old loves! You can rent a pack for $2 from the gift shop. (You only need 1 pack per family per visit.) The pack is full of little activities and items to help guide you through the zoo. Once you complete your tour of the zoo, you can return your completed pack to the gift shop and receive an Eco-Explorer button. There are 8 different themes to the packs, so you can get 8 buttons total throughout the summer! It makes for a new zoo experience every time you visit! We LOVE this zoo!

Gardens/Nature:

Elwood Children’s Garden – Elwood, IL

FREE!

500 N Chicago Avenue, Elwood, Illinois

Open daily from dawn to dusk

My favorite hidden gem to date! Totally free, beautiful children’s garden full of toys, musical instruments, art supplies and paths to explore. This garden has an evergreen maze, sunflower tunnel, mud kitchen, butterfly garden and so much more! My kids stay busy here for hours. Plenty of free parking. Huge playgrounds and working bathrooms across the parking lot. There are two picnic pavilions to choose from. One is inside the children’s garden and the other is by the bathrooms and playgrounds. Bring your own food and drink because there are no concessions available. Stroller-friendly. Be prepared with a change of clothes – Your kids WILL get dirty.

Garden Patch Farms – Homer Glen, IL

$5.00 or less per person

14158 W. 159th Street, Homer Glen, IL

Open weekdays and Sunday from 9:00 am – 6:00 pm, Saturdays from 9:00 am – 2:00 pm.

The cutest local farm that allows you to pick your own produce! My kids LOVE this place! So far we have picked our own strawberries, rhubarb, blackberries, cherries and apples here. They have tons of other stuff you can pick listed on their website. $5 per person to enter the field, and then you pay for what you pick by weight. (If you want to pick your produce all season, buy a Pick Pass for $25 per person. This gets you unlimited access to the field, plus 10% off your produce price for the entire year.) ALWAYS check the website before you head to the farm! They update it every morning with what is available for picking that day. The paths are all gravel and dirt, so I wouldn’t call this place stroller-friendly. We usually bring our red wagon with to help pull the produce. The farm supplies containers and bags if you need them. Since they sell everything you pick by weight, you can also bring your own produce bags or cardboard boxes if you want to be Earth friendly. (I do recommend using their supplied quart containers for berries.) I also recommend wearing closed toe shoes that you don’t mind getting muddy, a hat that keeps the sun out of your eyes, sunscreen, bug spray and old clothes. If you have little kids, I can promise your whole family WILL leave this place covered in fruit juice, mashed berries and dirt. They have port-a-potties by the farm stand, but nothing out in the field! Plan your potty checks ahead of time if you have little kids!

Pilcher Park – Joliet, IL

FREE!

2501 Highland Park Dr., Joliet, IL

Open daily from 8:30 am – 4:30 pm

Visit the Pilcher Park Nature Center to see exhibits of local wildlife, walk a few hiking trails, go fishing in Hickory Creek, take a walk through the Bird Haven Greenhouse, play on the playground and stop at one of the picnic tables for lunch. No concessions available, so bring your own food/drink. There is plenty of shade. Some of the trails are stroller-friendly. There are bathrooms available in the Nature Center and by the playground. Plenty of parking available throughout the park.

Little Red Schoolhouse Nature Center

Little Red School House Nature Center – Willow Springs, IL

FREE!

9800 Willow Springs Rd., Willow Springs, IL

Open 9:00 am – 6:00 pm Monday-Thursday, 9:00 am – 5:00 pm Saturday-Sunday, CLOSED Friday

An adorable nature center full of educational fun for kids. Inside the new Green Schoolhouse and the same Little Red Schoolhouse from our childhood, you will find live animal exhibits and interactive exhibits about local wildlife and their habitats. It has a children’s museum feel to it. There are bathrooms inside, and stroller friendly paths around the nature center. There are some good benches on the grounds to stop and have a picnic. You can take a short hike around the nature trail to see some gardens, plants and wildlife – some of the trails may not be stroller-friendly if there was recent rain. We saw bullfrogs by the lily pads last year! Plenty of parking. Check their schedule of events on the website if you are looking for something extra, because they have a bunch of free, family-friendly, nature-based events throughout the summer.

Splash Pads:

Brent Hassert Park – Crest Hill, IL

FREE!

19623 Renwick Rd., Crest Hill, IL

Open 10:00 am – 7:00 pm

Plenty of free parking. A decent-sized, enclosed splash pad. It is attached to 2 different playgrounds with rubberized surfacing. It can get busy in the mornings, but lunchtime and afternoons are not as bad. There are bathrooms, a drinking fountain, concession machines and a picnic shelter attached to the splash pad area. Bring sunscreen and hats because there is very little shade here! We usually pack a picnic lunch and a change of clothes so that the girls can play on the playgrounds once they are done splashing. Stroller-friendly.

The Promenade Mall – Children’s Play Area – Bolingbrook, IL

FREE!

631 E Boughton Rd., Bolingbrook, IL

Open during mall hours

Plenty of free parking. It is inside the open-air mall. Park on the side near Bass Pro Shops. This splash pad is little underwhelming, but fun for a quick little outing. It has a few interactive water fountains on a rubberized surface. It is usually not too crowded, and sometimes we even have it all to ourselves. Plenty of family-friendly restaurants in the area, and lots of shopping if you want to run errands before you play! (We also usually walk across the street to Bass Pro Shop because Emmy is obsessed with looking at the fish tank – whatever keeps the kid’s entertained!) It is stroller-friendly with plenty of benches to sit and keep and eye on the kids. Bathrooms are available inside the mall.

Hobson Corner Park – Woodridge, IL

FREE!

2910 Hobson Rd., Woodridge, IL

Open 10:00 am – 8:00 pm

Free parking. Very basic with interactive fountains shooting up from the ground, but my kids still love it. I usually bring a couple small buckets for them to play with. Small area with a few tables to sit at, or bring a blanket to spread on the surrounding grass. Stroller-friendly. No restrooms, but a port-a-potty is there for emergencies!

Ty Warner Park – Westmont, IL

$5 or less per person!

801 Blackhawk Dr., Westmont, IL

Open daily from 10:00 am – 8:00 pm

If I am going to pay for a splash pad, it better be good! When we do go here, the kids always freak out – It is by far their favorite splash pad! You pay $5 per non-resident child and adults are free. Plan to get wet with your little kids, because this splash pad is huge! (If your kids are older you might be able to get away with supervision from the side.) NO food is allowed inside the splash pad area. You can get your hand stamped and exit the splash pad to have snacks and such. There is a nice picnic pavilion, but come early to claim a table! There is also plenty of grassy area to claim with a picnic blanket, which is what we usually do. You can bring your own food and drinks for a picnic, but they also have a concession stand that offers snacks and drinks.There are bathrooms, but they are a little bit of a walk from the splash pad. There is a nice playground and a huge sand pit, so bring some sand toys to keep the kids busy. This park is stroller-friendly and has plenty of free parking.

Pools:

Centennial Beach – Naperville, IL

$5 or less per person – specific instructions below

500 W. Jackson Ave., Naperville, IL

Open Monday – Saturday 11:00 am – 8:00 pm and Sunday 11:00 am – 6:00 pm

Zero-depth entry, sand-bottom pool with a couple of fountains for little ones to play in and a small slide. Also has platforms and diving boards in the deep water for older kids who can pass a swim test. Large sandy “beach” area for building sand castles and digging. My kids LOVE it here! It is pricey for normal admission and usually VERY crowded. This place makes my list because from 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm you can get in for only $3 per non-resident on weekdays and Saturdays! Bonus: It is not as crowded at this time too.

Extra Details: Lifeguards on duty. There is free parking, but sometimes it fills up and you have to use the street parking on Jackson Street. Coast Guard approved floatation devices (such as puddle jumpers and life vests) are allowed. Somewhat stroller-friendly – There are paved sidewalks connecting the parking lot, pool area and concessions. Once you are in the pool area it is mostly sand and grass. Bathrooms and locker rooms are on-site. You can bring in your own food/drink. (I pack a small cooler.) They do have a concession stand/restaurant offering sandwiches, treats and drinks. There are plenty of picnic tables and lounge chairs to choose from, or bring a blanket to spread out on the grassy area. There are some shady spots too.

Centennial Outdoor Aquatic Center – Lemont, IL

$5.00 or less per person – specific instructions below

16028 127th St., Lemont, IL

Open weekdays 12:00 – 7:00 pm and weekends 12:00 – 6:00 pm

A nice pool for little kids. Zero-depth entry with a few fountains to play in. A large water slide and diving board keep the older kids occupied. Normal admission is a little high, but this pool makes my list because on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays they open early for families with kids under 11 years old! You pay a discounted admission for this time slot. FREE for 2 and under, $6 per non-resident adult, $4 per non-resident child – OR – a non-resident family of 4 for $11. Not bad for a morning swim when you consider the cost of normal non-resident admission, plus less crowds!

Extra Details: Lifeguards on duty. Free parking and stroller-friendly. You can bring in your own food/drink. (I pack a small cooler.) They do have a small concession stand offering snacks and drinks. There are plenty of picnic tables and lounge chairs to choose from. Bathrooms and locker rooms are attached to pool area. Bring your own towels, hats and lots of sunscreen! Shade is hard to come by here unless you can grab one of the tables with an umbrella.

Sports:

Joliet Slammers Baseball – Joliet, IL

$5.00 or less per person – specific instructions below

1 Mayor Art Schultz Drive, Joliet, IL

Click the link above for game schedule.

An affordable way to take your family out to the ballpark! A very family-friendly minor league team. They make my list because they have $2 Tuesdays – seats are $2 apiece! They have promotional theme nights such as Superhero night, Princess night, Lego night, Harry Potter night, etc. On Fridays there are post-game fireworks. On Sundays there are post-game meet and greets, so the kids can get autographs from their favorite players. After most games, they let the kids on the field to run the bases. My favorite way to go with little kids is buying $7 lawn seats. It is an open grassy area, and the kids have some freedom to run around if the game gets a little boring. Bring a blanket to sit on, and your glove to catch foul balls! If you want a regular seat it is still only $12, or you can get a club seat for $14. Parking for Slammers games is free, and you can also get to the game an hour early to enjoy discounted “early bird special” ballpark food and drink!

Music/Movies:

Cruisin’ into Lockport – Lockport, IL

FREE!

Every Monday night from 6:30 to 8:30 pm at Central Square. (Corner of 9th St and Hamilton.) Click link for concert schedule.

Shop a farmer’s market, buy dinner off a food cart, let the kids jump in the free bouncy house, grab free treats (This past Monday had all you can eat ice cream, and last year we had snow cones every night), walk through the car show and enjoy a live music concert! The event is totally FREE, unless you choose to buy food/drink! Bring a blanket and some lawn chairs to claim a spot on the grass. You can also bring your own food/drink. Park in one of the downtown lots and walk over. Bathrooms inside Central Square building.

Free Movie Night – New Lenox, IL

FREE!

New Lenox Commons, 1 Veterans Pkwy, New Lenox, IL

10 free movie nights total – click link above for schedule.

Starts at dusk, approx 8:00 pm. Bring a blanket and lawn chairs to claim your spot on the green and enjoy a movie outside. Concession stand available, but you can bring your own food/drink. (We have actually never gone to this, but I hear good things from a lot of people. I have no idea what the bathroom situation is. I will update this when I find out!)

Movies on the Green – Frankfort, IL

FREE!

“Ratatouille” – June 3, “Tower Heist” – July 8, “The Lego Movie” – August 5 (Click link for more info.)

Movie starts at dusk (approx 8:00) on Breidert Green. (The big grassy area with a small stage in the middle of downtown.)

Bring a blanket, snacks and lawn chairs and enjoy a movie outside. Get there early to claim a good spot, and walk across the street to Kernel Sweet Tooth to grab popcorn and ice cream! (No bathrooms were on site that I could find, but I was able to use Kernel Sweet Tooth’s with one of my daughters last year after we purchased a snack.)

So there you have it. My list of local, cheap fun. Now go have a family adventure on me!

Just kidding….it will probably be free!

You. Are. Welcome.

🙂 Kaitlyn

P.S. If you liked this post, you may also like Good Cheap Getaway for some easy and quick family vacation ideas!

The Perfect Mom Quest

May 20, 2015 ~ Kaitlyn @ Doing Dishes Making Wishes ~ 4 Comments

Something has happened to our generation of moms. Something terrible. We have lost our common sense in our quest to be perfect.

Our mothers and grandmothers didn’t have the internet or “How To” books for parenting. They went off their instincts, and if that didn’t work, they talked to their mothers, aunts, friends and neighbors for advice. They didn’t always follow it, but in the end we all turned out to be healthy and functioning human beings. That was what mattered, right?

The internet is an endless supply of information. Google search “how to make baby food” and you literally have thousands of options, methods and instructions right there in front of you. The same thing applies to diaper creams, medicated ointments, and basically anything else you can use on a baby. Here is the thing that pisses me off – some of this stuff is pure crap.

Did you know ANYBODY can start a website?! (I started one!)

Did you know that anybody can publish ANYTHING THEY WANT on said website? (I am typing whatever the hell I want right now!)

Did you know that if they are making claims and giving advice it is most likely a bunch of bullshit unless they can cite their information from a credible source? (I bet you are now vaguely remembering high school bibliographies with loathing. You’re welcome.)

Our generation of moms can turn to the internet for any parenting obstacle. Forget common sense. You can just Google it. Who cares what your Gram says? She only managed to raise five respectful and successful kids in a single income household! Screw what the pediatrician says. Why would we listen to someone who completed 8+ years of college and medical school followed by 3+ years of residency when we can just read some random Perfect Mom’s blog and follow her advice? I am sure she is qualified to give sound medical guidance on the health of our families.

Oh wait. Did she even graduate high school? Her children seem OK in the pictures, but are they ACTUALLY healthy and OK? We will never know, my friends! We will only see what she wants us to see, because she can say whatever she wants on that big, bad blog of hers. She doesn’t have to produce any credentials to hit the publish button, and people read it. I am weeping for every scientist and medical professional who has ever published solid research. Published research is boring, but jumping on the hip Perfect Mom bandwagon is fun! Let’s all forgo our educations and parent our kids based on current trends!

When I was pregnant with my first baby, I spent HOURS upon HOURS on the internet. I refer to this as the Perfect Mom Quest. I became obsessed with the notion of being the Perfect Mom. So much so that I pushed aside all common sense instincts and read as much of those crap mommy blogs as I possibly could. Naturally, (no pun intended) I came to the following conclusions:

I was going to have a natural delivery (even considering home birth) because any mom worth anything pushes their kid out of their vagina drug free.
I would make my own organic baby food, because jars of baby food have chemicals. Which chemicals? IT DOESN’T MATTER! HOMEMADE ORGANIC WAS THE ONLY SAFE WAY TO GO!
I was going to breastfeed exclusively because if I gave my baby formula her brain would be underdeveloped, plus she might get cancer. JESUS. Might as well call that stuff liquid death.
I was never going to give my baby acetaminophen or ibuprofen because, “OMG! I read a blog that said these medications are poison. I would be administering POISON to my child! What kind of tricks are these pediatricians trying to pull!?”
I was only going to use cloth diapers because I read another blog saying disposable diapers WILL give your child severe diaper rash. HOLY SHIT. My kid will never have diaper rash. I will not allow it. I will only use cloth diapers. Are those disposable diaper parents freaking insane!? Why would anyone willingly give diaper rash to their baby?!
I was not going to vaccinate because Jenny McCarthy said it gave her kid autism, plus kids die from adverse reaction to vaccines. How many kids? Who cares?! It is killing children! Vaccination is obviously a tool put on Earth to defeat mankind.

I know. Exhausting. If only I could go back in time and slap myself senseless, and then slap myself some more until I was once again sane. I was smarter than that! I have a Bachelor of Science for Christ’s sake! I couldn’t complete one lab in NIU’s Anderson Hall without citing a study. I couldn’t turn in a project unless I had proof that my stated facts came from somewhere credible. My professors wouldn’t have given an uncited project one glance. I should have been able to avoid falling for this Perfect Mom crap right?

Once I had my baby I realized this quest was not only unrealistic, but also so time and energy consuming that I could barely handle it. Why was I putting myself through all this when there was no actual proof that my baby would turn out to be a super genius or Olympic athlete? That was the end of Perfect Mom Quest.

I ended up having a C-section because Avery was Frank breech. Had I done a home birth, I firmly believe one of us would not have come out of that situation healthy. Good-bye to natural delivery, and thank goodness for my obstetrician!
Making my own organic baby food was messy, just as expensive – if not more expensive – and a huge pain in the ass. I wasted a few hours of my life on it, then decided there were better ways to spend my time. My kids ate the toxic Gerber (which is actually not toxic at all – see below) for a couple months, and I switched them to finger foods. They are alive and healthy. Why is this short transition from liquid to finger foods plagued with puree controversy?!
I hated breastfeeding. Hated it. I suffered through sixteen weeks of zero sleep, bleeding nipples, low milk supply and throbbing let-downs before I finally gave up on the whole thing. While watching Cody feed Avery a bottle of formula, I wept. I still can’t tell you if it was out of guilt that I had given up or flat-out relief that breastfeeding was over. Then I went to bed (Since my boobs were no longer needed – Thank the Lord!) and slept while he worked his first all-night feeding shift. I woke up as a new woman and never looked back.
Once my kids hit 6 months, I gave them ibuprofen and acetaminophen when it was appropriate. Seeing your child sick and in pain is hard. If I have a headache, I take medicine and feel better. Why would I want my kids to cry in pain when I know I have something that will help? Turns out using medications properly is perfectly safe and healthy. (see below)
Here are fun facts you don’t find on a Perfect Mom blog about cloth diapers: They are disgusting and time consuming. Also – Disposable diapers don’t give your baby diaper rash. Poop and pee on skin give your baby diaper rash. I lasted 2 months using cloth diapers. My washing machine and gag reflex thanked me when I finally snapped and bought Huggies.
My kids are vaccinated and have been since day one. My pediatrician BEGGED me to do accurate research. She would treat my kids either way, but it was strongly encouraged that I make an educated decision rather than a “But I read it on a Perfect Mom blog” decision. I love my pediatrician. She knew how to tame my crazy.

I happen to know many women who are, in fact, Perfect Moms. They are breastfeeding like champions and pureeing baby food like it is their job. They are washing their cloth diapers without gagging and pushed their kids out – all natural and drug free – like they were supposed to. Cheers to them! They must have their own good reasons if they are putting themselves through all of that hot mess. I always get down on myself when talking to these moms. They never fail to remind me with a snarky little smile that they are, “Just doing what is best for baby!” or the good old, “Mommies make sacrifices!”

Yep. I am currently sacrificing the joy of ripping out your hair, Lady.

Being a new mom is like that high school girl vs. girl competition all over again. You can’t be in the Perfect Mom club unless you have successfully completed the Perfect Mom Quest.

I guess I am kicked out of the club. Rebel for life!

Truth be told, when Perfect Mom’s child stands next to Avery (a.k.a. my vaccinated, medicated, formula-drinking, Huggies-wearing, Gerber-eating child who was delivered via C-section) at the preschool music show, all I see is two happy and healthy kids. I can’t look at that group of 24 kids and pick out the breastfed ones. I couldn’t tell you which ones had homemade organic purees when they were 9 months old. All I can tell you is that they still made it through their first year of preschool….Regardless of all that.

I am reminding myself and all other moms like me that we did a good job. We did the research and made parenting decisions based on what we knew in both head and heart was best for our families. As a result, our kids are just as happy and healthy as Perfect Mom’s organic, all natural kids.

You know what that makes us?

Perfect Moms.

Want to know where I did my research? Here you go:

My decision to vaccinate my kids:

Here is the World Health Organization’s vaccine reaction rates website. You can click on each vaccine and get a breakdown of every possible adverse reaction to the vaccines, including worldwide statistical data.

Here is the Autism Science Foundation’s website for autism and vaccination. There are countless studies listed that provide solid evidence against autism being related to vaccination.

Here is some info on herd immunity from the University of Oxford.

My decision to buy Gerber baby food purees:

Here is Gerber’s website. They have USDA certified organic baby foods, which also means the crops are not genetically modified. If you have also done research, you would know anything with an USDA certified organic label cannot contain any GM foods.

You can look up the full ingredient list for any of their baby foods. Here is an example with peaches. These are their standard peaches, not the organic. Click on the nutrition information tab below the product’s picture for the full ingredient list. (Like any other food you buy in the grocery store, baby food has to follow the FDA guidelines for food labeling.)

I made sure all the Gerber purees that I used for my kids only contained the fruit/vegetables of choice, water, and either ascorbic acid or citric acid. What are those? They are natural preservatives! Ascorbic acid is vitamin C. It can be used as a preservative for food by preventing oxidation. It can also be used as a vitamin C supplement. Your body needs vitamin C to help absorb iron. An excess of vitamin C in the system is very rare because it is a water soluble vitamin. Citric acid is a naturally occurring acid in citrus fruits. It is used as a preservative to slow down oxidation of food. Have you ever squeezed lemon juice over apple slices to keep them from browning? Or lime juice into guacamole? You just preserved your food with citric acid. Don’t trust me? Click on the links above!

My decision to use over-the-counter medication to treat high fever or pain:

Here is KidsHealth.org’s information on the safety of ibuprofen and how to use it correctly. Here is their page for correct use of acetaminophen.

KidsHealth.org is a good resource for parents. It is managed by the Nemours Foundation, a not-for-profit dedicated to education for children’s health.

Here is the popular WebMD website’s advice for young children and ibuprofen use.

Booberry Cancakes

May 14, 2015August 3, 2015 ~ Kaitlyn @ Doing Dishes Making Wishes ~ 2 Comments

I am not a morning person.

I have childhood memories of my mother literally, physically dragging me out of bed as I fought her off in a sleepy haze. I also have unfortunate memories of hitting the snooze button way too many times in my early adult life, and consequently rushing to work/class/anything I ever had to attend before 10:00 AM. I would shamelessly burn rubber into the Starbucks drive thru and risk running another 10 minutes behind schedule. There was no way on God’s Green Earth I would make it through the lecture (that had already started) or bank teller shift (that started in 4 minutes) without a venti-with-an-extra-shot dose of caffeine. Once the first few sips of coffee were ingested, my eyes would open up. The world was no longer a bright, glaring, evil place. I would realize the sun was out and I had stuff to get done. I would silently scold myself for sleeping in as I muttered an apology to my boss or professor. I would run to my seat and get to work. Crap. Late again.

If you are a “tsk-tsking morning person”, you should know that I am fully aware and ashamed of the fact that if I hadn’t hit the snooze for 45 minutes I would have been on time. I envy your ability to pop out of bed in a cheery-ass, obnoxious mood and begin your day without wasting $5 on a large coffee. That must be so great for you! For me that morning struggle was REAL. So keep your “tsking” to yourself. Thanks.

Suddenly I became a mother in my mid-twenties, and I also had to become a morning person whether I liked it or not. It wasn’t too hard, actually. A tiny, helpless human crying for me was a good motivator. I bought a Keurig. I would wake up to feed the baby and then stumble over to the coffee machine. It wasn’t so bad. I even started watching the morning news while I sipped my coffee and ate some breakfast of my own. How grown up and “morning person” of me!

But, alas! Old habits die hard. I wish I could say I am a good mom who gets up with the sun to scramble eggs and start the laundry. I wish I could tell you that I am showered, dressed and watching the news while sipping my cup of coffee before my kids even wake up. I just am not. I usually stay asleep until one of my kids wakes up. I have come to terms with the fact that despite my best efforts at getting it together before 7:00 AM, I will never truly be a morning person. Just because I am usually awake by then doesn’t mean I enjoy it!

The. Struggle. Is. Still. Real.

Nowadays, my morning can go two completely different ways. This depends solely on which child wakes up first. (I suppose my morning could go a third way if I would just get my ass out of bed a half hour earlier…But that is not the point of this post…So I guess we won’t be discussing that third option today. Yea, I know. Tsk tsk.)

Morning #1:

Avery wakes up first. She tiptoes into my room and crawls into bed with me to snuggle. Sometimes she falls back asleep. (Yay! Bonus sleep!) When she is ready to get up she whispers, “Mommy, can we get up and have breakfast?” Nine times out of ten she will request Cheerios and banana. She usually lays in my bed until I tell her breakfast is ready, which gives me time to start my coffee and throw on some clothes in peace. She will tiptoe into the kitchen and eat, while I sip some coffee. Simple, easy and minimal dishes. She even puts her bowl in the sink when she is finishes. She usually asks to watch a kids’ show after, and I let her because she is just so darn good to me in the mornings. This gives me extra time to get a few things together before Emmy wakes up. The morning runs smoothly. Everybody is happy and satisfied. I love these mornings.

Morning #2:

Emmy wakes up first. I hear her stomp down the hall and fling open my door. I brace myself.

“Mommy! Wake up!” She stands right next to my face on the side of the bed.

“Mommy! OPEN EYES!” I open my eyes in bewilderment.

“I hungry.” She stares at me.

If I take more than 5 seconds to stretch and assemble my thoughts, she goes into full drill sergeant mode.

“Mommy! Time to wake up! Time to eat freckfast!” (She calls breakfast freckfast.)

I run to the bathroom and lock the door, because I know if I don’t she will be barging in there to harass me through all my business. She bangs on the door.

“MOMMY! YOU IN DER???”

Yes, honey. I am in here. You watched me walk in here.

“I HUNGRY!!! YOU HURRY UP??”

I stumble to the kitchen to get that coffee maker brewing, while she barks at my heels, “Cancakes! Mommy! Cancakes!” (She calls pancakes cancakes.)

“Muffins, Mom! Wif toast! And jelly. JELLY. MOM! THE JELLY IN DA FRIDGE!”

I shush her because I know where the damn jelly is. Tell her to keep her voice down and not to wake her sister. I suggest cereal. Granola bars. Yogurt. Fresh fruit. Please. Anything that doesn’t require pans, mixing bowls, eggs and effort.

“NO! I no eat dat! I want hot muffins. In oven. I want CANCAKES! BOOBERRY CANCAKES!!!” (Yep. She calls blueberries booberries.)

By this time Avery is groggily making her way down the hallway in just as much of a stupor as me, because all these noisy demands have woken her up too. Her eyes snap all the way open at the suggestion of blueberry pancakes. Now she chimes in, “Mommy, can you please make blueberry pancakes for us?” While Emmy doesn’t let up, “Yea, Mom! CANCAKESSSS! YAAAAYYY!”

Since I have been out of bed for approximately 3 minutes and haven’t had any coffee yet, I have no energy to fight it. I sigh and get out the mixing bowl while they skip laps around the kitchen table, chanting:

“Blueberry pancakes! BOOBERRY CANCAKES! Blueberry! BOOBERRY! Pancakes! CANCAKES! Yummy! HURRY! Yummy! HURRY!”

I make the pancakes, and they devour every bite on their plates. I manage to finally get that cup of coffee poured. Ahhhh. Bliss. My head clears. I look around. Maple syrup is on every surface of the kitchen. I wipe it all up. Now where are the kids? Probably touching all the TV remotes, tablets, and doorknobs we own with their sticky, maple syrup fingers. Oh well. Everybody is happy and satisfied, albeit we got there a different way than Morning #1.

Might as well sit back, relax and enjoy some booberry cancakes.

🙂 Kaitlyn

P.S. We pick our own blueberries every summer! Click here to find out how you can pick your own too!