Since starting this blog, I have been talking to other moms so much more. I find it interesting to hear how other women manage their households. It gives me insight and other perspectives. One huge thing that always comes up is how bedtime and sleep are managed. I started to become super curious after hearing so many different opinions! Every household has a different routine at bedtime and different sleep habits for their family. I guess I was under the assumption that night comes and people sleep. Seems like that would make sense, right?

Except for one shocking little detail….

So many families are getting no sleep at all.

Sure, everybody goes through what I like to call “The Months of Newborn Hell”. It is a time of feeding, burping, spit up, changing and rocking to sleep. This process is repeated every 3 hours. Unless of course your baby decides it needs to cluster feed one day. Then you can go ahead and repeat all of that on the hour for 4 hours straight. Maybe you got lucky and popped out a kid with reflux or colic??? Your only hope for sleep anytime in the near future is prayer. Sorry. Truth hurts.

If you can navigate your way out of the months of newborn hell, you are already halfway to success! A good night’s sleep is so close you can taste it! So why are so many parents playing a nightly game of musical beds with their 2-year-olds? Why do I have friends who cannot sleep in the same bed as their husband because their 4-year-old “won’t let them”? Why am I listening to someone complain that they are getting up to give their 18-month-old a bottle at 3:00 AM?

My mind is boggled.

My kids are currently 5 and 3 years old. Since they were about 6 months old, they both have slept through the night for at least 10 hours, in their own beds, in their own rooms and in the dark. Now the next part of this post is a bit touchy because I am going to tell you how I was able to achieve this. It involves sleep training. I know there are people out there who feel very strongly against it – for whatever their reasons. I can assure you my children are perfectly fine and not even close to emotionally damaged after going through a few nights of sleep training. If you want to stop reading now – please do! I promise I won’t lose any sleep over it! (<—See what I just did there? Hehe!)

If you want to hold your kids until they fall asleep every night – Go for it!

If you want to hang out for an hour in your toddler’s room while you wait for them to fall asleep – More power to you!

If you actually like sleeping next to your kids more than your husband – Keep on keepin’ on, girl!

Some moms genuinely love falling asleep under a loving pile of their own kids. I am not here to tell you what will work for your family. I could care less what goes on under your roof at midnight. Buuuut if you are someone like me…Someone who really wants to end their day unwinding with an hour or two of adult time plus a good night’s sleep, then you need to consider sleep training those rugrats!

This plan is pretty simple. Ready???

• Step 1: Get a copy of “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Marc Weissbluth, M.D.
• Step 2: Read it and do what Dr. Weissbluth recommends for your family.
• Step 3: Thank me next week when your whole family is getting a full nights sleep!

I am only half-joking. I really did use that book as my infant sleep bible. I figured I would share this post because so many parents have openly admitted that they do not know where they went wrong at bedtime. There is a way out, and I know this because I did it! My Auntie Christy gave me a copy of this book after a night of babysitting my super-fussy-at-bedtime baby. I read it immediately, and it turns out I had no clue what I was doing at bedtime. I put the recommended sleep plan into action and never EVER looked back.

Before you begin:

• Read the book, or at least the parts that apply to you and your household.
• Establish a comfort object early on. These are instrumental in helping kids self-soothe. My girls each have one of these “blankies” by Angel Dear.
• Develop a schedule in your household that works best for everyone. Set mealtimes, playtime, nap time for babies and toddlers, quiet time for kids who no longer nap, bathtime and bedtime. Be prepared to strictly enforce the schedule for a few weeks until the routine is well-established.
• Develop a bedtime routine that you can manage to maintain EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. The bedtime routine is important, because it is what relaxes your child and prepares them for sleep. It can be as easy as a quick bath and a 5 minute bedtime story, but it needs to stay the same every night in order to establish sleep. You will want to start the bedtime routine with enough time to complete it before your scheduled bedtime.
•  If you want to know how it works in our house, I am happy to share our bedtime routine with you all. If you don’t care, then skip it. Our routine might not be what works for you!
  • Our Bedtime Routine:
    • Around 7:00 PM I give Emmy her bath. As soon as she is done, Avery gets in the shower.
    • The girls pick out their pajamas and get dressed. They brush their hair and teeth.
    • Usually it is around 7:30 now. They each are required to do a “potty check” right before climbing into bed. (I don’t like changing wet sheets in the middle of the night. Can you blame me?)
      
    • Avery heads into her room to pick out a book and waits for me while I put Emmy to bed.
    • In Emmy’s room I read her one book, tuck her in with a kiss, turn off her light, and close her door.
    • I head to Avery’s room where I read her one book, tuck her in with a kiss, turn on her nightlight, turn off her light, and close her door.  (A couple months ago Avery started to be afraid of the dark. This is normal at preschool age because their imaginations are very active. We allow her to have a nightlight now. Neither of our kids used nightlights up until that point because babies are not afraid of the dark.)
    • Bedtime is over and done with by 8:00, so I usually pour a glass of wine and rejoice in my hours of adult time!
  • Notes:
    •  Both girls bring their comfort objects to bed with them.
    • They are NEVER allowed out of bed after bedtime unless there is illness or a bathroom emergency.
    • I ABSOLUTELY NEVER allow them to sleep in my bed. If there is a problem in the night such as a bad dream or potty accident – I go to them, fix the problem and tuck them back into their own bed once they are comforted. Then I head back to my own spacious bed where I stretch out and enjoy some more quality sleep.
      

Sooooo, you have your schedule and bedtime routine down pat? Start teaching your children to self-soothe and fall asleep independently! Follow Dr. Weissbluth’s advice based on your household type. The book is very specific, and gives suggestions according to the needs of your own individual family. He covers children of various ages, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, infant temperament, reflux, colic, and many other common topics that would have an effect on your entire family’s quality of sleep at night. I promise, no matter what your current sleep situation is, this book covers it.

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Don’t trust my advice on all of this? I DON’T BLAME YOU!

……(I feel a rant coming on)…..

I shouldn’t have to remind you that this is a blog. Anybody can start a blog, and anybody can publish whatever crap information they would like on that blog! I absolutely refuse to follow the advice of someone who cannot support their parenting decisions with research from accredited sources. (I’m looking at you, natural mommy blogs. Cite something. For the love of God, just prove to me ANYTHING your wrote about is true! And speaking of God…No, the Bible is not a valid source of SCIENTIFIC INFORMATION. I am so glad you love Jesus, but he doesn’t know how your infant’s brain waves look during a REM sleep cycle. A pediatric sleep expert does. Amen.)

I will always do my best to provide you links to the research I did while making the parenting decisions I discuss on this blog. I will never cite another blog as a source – BECAUSE THAT IS NOT AN ACCREDITED, VALID PLACE TO OBTAIN ACCURATE INFORMATION. Unless the author of that blog can share where they obtained the information, and unless that information came from a university study, a medical journal, a book or paper published by a recognized expert in their field, or another ACCREDITED SOURCE – Do you see where I am going with this yet?! – I can only assume they made all that stuff up.

(End Rant.)

OK. I feel better now. Here’s some information:

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The information I used to establish my family’s sleep habits came from Northwestern Children’s Practice and Children’s Hospital Colorado, as well as Dr. Weissbluth’s “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” book.

Who is Dr. Marc Weissbluth?

“Dr. Weissbluth graduated from Stanford University and Washington University Medical School. He completed his pediatric training at St. Louis Children’s Hospital and is a Professor of Clinical Pediatrics at Northwestern University School of Medicine. His interests include infant and child development, colic / crying, and childhood sleep problems. He is also the author of numerous publications, including books for parents such as Crybabies, Sweet Baby: How to Soothe Your Newborn, Your Fussy Baby, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins. “

Here is a link to some great info about night feeding by Barton D. Schmitte, M.D., pediatrician at Children’s Hospital Colorado.

Still struggling with your child’s sleep? You can find infant sleep consultants at Northwestern Children’s Practice, right here in the good old Windy City. Here is their link to some handy handouts about infant sleep.

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